The new court lights
From our feng shui consultant, Iphigenia Phoenix McMalley-O’Stuart
I totally embrace my heritage as you can see from my name which is Cornish and also from Andorra. Which is why I am so into my writing and just absolutely get feng shui. I also do installation art using fluorescent tubes which are so totally retro they will be the next steam punk. And my beauty therapy except I am allergic to stuff.
Feng shui, which you won’t know because you haven’t done the online consultancy course that I did. It was so intensive they said it would take six hours all up but it took me like two weeks?
So feng shui is this really ancient Chinese philosophy which comes from China that explains how important alignment of furniture and buildings and landscape features and stuff is to achieving your body-soul balance and channelling all the good that is in the universe into you and all the bad karma away from you. And this just so accords with my own heritage culture because we had standing stones and things like that that the modern world can only wonder to.
Which is why it was just so amazing that I got asked to advise on where to put the new lights at the Dubbo Croquet lawns. When I started my blog and my boyfriends laughed at me, I knew that I could show them. Someone must of read my blog and now I got this commission! That’s like totally wow.
So I went to see the courts. There was lots of seats and stuff that I had to move around. Some of them were set in the ground but and I couldn’t move them so I had to make some adjustments. The fence is all square which seals off the sensitivity of the third meridian, but the playing courts are a boxy shape which captures the security and comfort of the co-central beingness. The white lines around the outside are a bad choice because white is the colour of mourning. Red is the colour for good fortune and luck but green lines would be best for new life and vitality.
A really awesome thing was the water feature. It is just so amazingly retro, like a tap my granny had in her garden. But to be totally better it will have to go three kang in the bei direction to promote the aspirations of the perching tiger.
In one corner of the lawn set at an angle is a cute little house. In the right position for holding possessions and valuables that encompass the power of the pouncing carp. There weren’t any windows so I couldn’t see what was inside but it should be used for keeping stuff in.
The poles for the lights are green which is like bamboo so that is strength and flexibility so that’s all good. They will be a funnel for the second chakra. Or maybe lightning.
The desire of the crouching lotus is housed in the little shelters and because they are square on to the courts they will become the repositories for longevity, memory, wisdom and forgotten cardigans.
So my recommendation is that the light poles should go in the centre of the lawn in a circle to achieve closure and wholeness and facing outwards to reflect the golden hearts and pure minds of the people there to the whole world. And that the gate out to carpark should be moved to open out towards the cricket field to enhance the oneness of physicality balancing the open aspect to the bowling lawn.
One thing I couldn’t work out were all the little holes in the ground. I think it refers to the connectedness of heaven with mountain and as a gateway to the celestial but I couldn’t get my app to work.
Just one question, Ms/Ze/They McMalley-O’Stuart: who commissioned you? You only have to give us the name and we will do the rest.